i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
