Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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