yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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