shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
