So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
