I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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