everyone is single if you try hard enough
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
