yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
