I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
