you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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