I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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