i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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