Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
