Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
