What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
