i may or may not be watching the land before time
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
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