Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
