It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
