Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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