i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
