Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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