I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just tell him i said nine months
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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