I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
