that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
