Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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