apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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