I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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