The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
