I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
