Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
no you cant smoke seaweed
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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