At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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