he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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