I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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