i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
