It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
