Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Farmville is her only friend.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
