My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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