so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
