I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
