Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
