if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
