Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
