And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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