so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
