I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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