I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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