my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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