We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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