If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can text with my tongue
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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