I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
