you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Houston, we have a squirter
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
