Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
