spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
