...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
