I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
