you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
