I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
