I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
