we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
