Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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