I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
