Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
