Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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