were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
