What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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