This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
